#Review #Excerpt ~~ Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher
Not the Girl You Marry
LOUISA’S 4 BLUSH REVIEW
There is so much of this book that I just absolutely loved. There was a bit of a slow start for me but I HAD to keep reading. The writing is spot on, the characters one’s you can’t help but love (or possibly hate!).
Hannah hasn’t had the best relationships…she’s been beaten down a bit and her self esteem is a bit bruised. She’s a smart, successful woman who is now a bit jaded but is about to meet a man who will change everything. She’s been tasked by her boss to show that she “believes” in love again and with her being so jaded, it’s not going to be that easy.
Jack – a semi-successful writer who’s been pigeonholed into writing fluff pieces is looking to change her reputation a bit has been tasked to “lose a girl” after dating her for just a short while (yeah – how to lose a guy in 10 days movie – but Andi J. Christopher has switched it up). Problem #1? Jack’s a good guy and it’s just not in him to be a jerk…but then again – getting his job the caliber it deserves is petty important too.
The back and forth banter had me laughing and the sweet moments had me swooning – the perfect mix of Rom and Com for me!
Andi J. Christopher did such a beautiful job of giving us characters that give us everything – laughs and tears and there are some sexy times too!
How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days gets a millennial makeover in this romantic comedy by USA Today bestselling author Andie J. Christopher.
Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he’s not sure he wants her to dump him.
Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who’s focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she’s determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He’s the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she’s not scared of feelings.
Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.
Hannah struggled not to roll her eyes when she caught a glimpse of herself in the glass doors of the hockey arena. She wore painted-on jeans and a jersey so tight her nipples were likely to bust through at the first hint of a breeze off the ice.
“The same reasoning from the seminal film Cluelessstands today,” Sasha had said. “You want to make him think as much of sex as possible, but not give him the sex, so that he has to keep calling you if he thinks he can get to the sex. And to get him to think of sex, you need to be as close to naked as possible.”
“Why wouldn’t he just get on an app and swipe?” Hannah had asked.
“You have to give yourself more credit.” Her best friend appeared to get a little bit exasperated with her. “He has a taste—like, literally—for you. But he hasn’t dipped his wick, yet. As long as you make him wait, he’s not going to be on the hunt for anyone but you.”
Hannah thought the whole thing was entirely too complicated, which was one of the main reasons she’d opted out of dating after Noah and the subsequent false starts. One of the things she’d liked about Jack was that he seemed unpretentious, and he wore his emotions on his face. All of this overthinking about him, the fact that she’d raised the stakes by trying to manipulate him into sticking around, was making her think that maybe Jack’s unguarded emotions and the easy way he had about him were all part of his game. And that perhaps he was an especially adept liar and manipulator.
But she had to set all that aside and implement the strategy she and Sasha had devised after the whole oral-sex-on-the-first-date thing. Because Jack hadn’t actually gotten off, the damage was probably minimal. The smiley face and multiple thumbs-up emoticons that Jack had sent her along with a picture of his ticket to the game conveyed that he wasn’t going to be weird about the fact that she’d come all over his face after one—admittedly very nice—dinner and then skipped out after meeting his mother.
This time, she’d come prepared. She was wearing super-uncomfortable clothes to the game, which would make her so self-conscious that even Jack’s annoying habit of being sort of perfect would not get her in the mood. And she’d rubbed one—well several ones—out in the days since their first date, including a couple of times after the very weird second date. She wasn’t going to trip up again and end up riding his five-o’clock shadow like a pony at the state fair.
She felt fairly confident as she walked through the turnstile and had her ticket scanned and her purse searched. Her plan seemed foolproof when the guy checking her purse for weapons or contraband snacks called her boobs “ma’am.” She was positively jaunty, and her body thrilled with power as she walked to the spot where she’d told Jack to meet her.
And then she saw him standing next to the concession stand with two beers and a giant tray of nachos. He wore a T-shirt with a thermal underneath, and jeans that had a dick print that she’d need to scrub out of her memory methodically, over years, from this day forward.
That wasn’t even the worst part. The way he looked at her, under his lashes, with a smirk on his face that said he knew where all the buttons to drive her wild were located, made her have to lock out her knees and stop a few feet away from him.
Even from three feet away, with people rushing past and a couple of them bumping into her—seeing as she was standing in a busy spot and the game was going to start any minute—she could smell that he was freshly showered. And then she couldn’t stop thinking about him in the shower. Not getting into the shower with him. Couples showers were awkward and never sexy, but she would pay good money to watch that man shower. Although she hadn’t borne witness to his abs, he must be going by the same wardrobe edicts she was, because he was definitely operating by a similar rule—tighter is better.
And she was here for it.
Like an idiot, she raised a hand and might have danced around on her feet like a little girl. “Hi.”
“’S’up?” His smirk grew into a full-on grin. He totally had her number.
She didn’t even care as she approached him and the din of their surroundings disappeared around them. When she got near him, something clicked into place and gave her the kind of calm she’d been looking for her whole life. A voice inside her, the small, soft one she endeavored not to listen to because it was her heart—and her heart had only ever gotten her in trouble—was telling her that he was special and different and wouldn’t break them both.
“I hope beer and nachos is okay.”
Her stomach rumbled at the smell of processed cheese and hops, although she probably had about three gulps of beer and one chip before her jeans popped. “Better than okay. Beer and nachos are fantastic.”
She was glad he found it in him to break the moment, because she would have been content to stand on the concourse of the arena looking at him, smelling him, and grinning at him like an idiot the whole night. They made their way to their seats shortly before the puck dropped.
There was this way that couples sat together that Hannah had always craved. As though they could just barely tolerate being out of contact, but still had their minds on propriety. She’d never had that. But the way Jack was sitting, as close to her as he could get without her sitting in his lap, was that kind of sitting. The whole side of her body was warm, and she took a sip of beer to cool off and marshal the wherewithal not to look at him and giggle. His nearness made her giddy.
The only thing that burst her bubble of smittenness was when he started talking. “So, that guy is the center—” He pointed at the guy poised for the face-off.
She knew that, but another part of her strategy was not being a bitch to Jack for the next few weeks. And correcting his misconception that he might know even a scintilla of what she knew about hockey would be off-putting.
If playing dumb so Jack could feel good about himself kept him asking her out until her company Halloween party, she’d do it. She gritted her teeth and said, “You’re so smart, Jack.”
“What they’re doing right now is called the face-off.”
“Where did you learn so much about hockey, Jack?” Oh dear Lord give me strength. She bit her lip to keep from telling him that she’d learned everything there was to know about hockey and most of the things she knew about blow jobs from the captain of the high school hockey team. They’d been study buddies and then friends with benefits—as long as it had stayed secret that he was having his sexual needs met by the weird smart girl in his AP European history class.
When she’d gotten a five on the exam, and he’d gotten a three, he’d called things off. He hadn’t been able to deal with hard evidence that she was smarter than him. Jack and his condescension about hockey were doing a good job of reminding her that—however much she liked him and his naughty mouth—he was just another dude.
And it might even be a good thing that a little bit of his perfect, woke-bae façade was slipping. That way, every time the way he smirked at her in a tight T-shirt crept into her mind, she could simply think about him mansplaining a game she’d been watching since she was four years old.
“So, the point of the game is for them to get that flat black disk into the other team’s net, which is called a goal.”
“Mmmm-hmmmm.” She tried to remember Sasha’s admonishment that guys like to the be the expert on things and tend to gravitate toward women who made them feel smart, but she was so close to turning the corner into Bitchville that she didn’t have it in her to gush about his frankly elementary hockey tutorial.
“And hockey is played in three periods, not four quarters, like football.”
At that point, she was either going to kill him or find a way to make him shut up. But doing so in a way that wouldn’t make him dump her immediately would require some finesse. Which she didn’t have because she’d never found a use for it until now.
If only he had an off switch of some sort.
An idea so inappropriate and diabolical popped into her head that she couldn’t resist giving it a shot. It would abide by the theme of the night—offering sex without delivering it—and it would either confuse or turn him on so much that it would break the cycle of mansplaining.
Thinking about it any more would probably yield a reason why she shouldn’t do it, so she went ahead and rested her hand gently over Jack’s cock. She didn’t even take her eyes off the ice because the puck had dropped, and she wanted to pay attention to the game.
During the first break, she looked over at him. His mouth was open, and he stared straight at her, then glanced down to her hand and back to her face. He opened his mouth to say something, but then she squeezed a little bit. She smiled at him, diverted her eyes back to the ice, and went back to her gentle cupping.