My name is Everly. I’m a stay-at-home mom of two beautiful kids. I have a husband who provides for our family, but I don’t think he loves me anymore. Inside I die a little every day.
I am not enough. Not enough of a mother, a wife, a friend, a woman… I’m not enough to get you to stay, to love me or to accept me. There’s a battle I’m fighting. It’s a battle within myself.
I’m a fixer; I help others. I try to make everyone around me happy and whole, yet I haven’t figured out a way to fix myself.
When time and circumstances push me to my breaking point, I’m forced to take a hard look at what I’ve become. A failed marriage, a failed attempt at a career, and a failed attempt at being a mother. I’m not enough to hold any of it.
This is my story. It’s about trying to figure out how to be happy with who I am, how to love myself again, and how to allow others to love me. When a second chance at love is standing in front of me, will I be able to see anything more than my broken reflection in his eyes? Will I be able to rebuild and reinvent myself when everything falls apart? Can I find the love I truly deserve?
Will I ever be enough?
Kristine’s review 4 stars
“What a wonderful world it would be if we could accept ourselves for who we are instead of who we think we should be.” ~ Everly
Enough by Dawn L. Chiletz started off as a sweet surprise. As we read a lot of fiction, we wanna escape from reality with characters who we wish we could be. With this story it started as not wanting to be Everyly instead I related so much with her. As some women and men, things can happen. They make choices based on what they feel they should do instead of what they really feel to do. In Everly and Mike’s case, this is exactly what happens. They made choices that later on caused a tornado that no one can clean up from.
Dawn writes the lives of these characters as raw as it can get. There is no fairy tale at first. This is all true life, at some moments it was like looking through a mirror. There are differences, but almost every stay at home mom can relate to Everly. We put ourselves on the back burner for our kids. Most of us have support, Everly did not. When reading a book, most of the time there is always a character I dislike, that I’d like to lock of somewhere to disappear forever. In this case I began to think that way but as I sat there I really thought about this and my heart bled for these two main characters. There are some parts that were hard to read cause I could imagine this happening to a lot people. All of this dialog and description Dawn bleeds from her heart draws me so much closer to her characters. Grandma kay, I had insta love for, anyone would be blessed to have one like her. Everly’s bestie Gwen, I can’t even explain what an amazing friend she is. Kale and Marlow are both exceptional sweet-hearted kids that warmed my heart. Nick, now he is heaven with a cherry on top. So as Everly had all these wonderful people in her life it only took one person to bring her down…..herself.
I think it’s very important for women to read this, there are so many Everly’s out there. They can’t see their happily ever afters so therefore they settle for no sweet ever afters. There are so many factors in this story and as I read the last lines I felt so inspired by this character. Her self strength stopped asking her questions….it told it!
There was every level of emotion and I starting at the bottom and soaring out of the top. All different feelings bled out my pores. I really feel like everyone needs to read about Grandma Kay’s red door and make one of their own. I loved all the hidden meaning and symbolism in this story. Its definitely a 4 stars for me.
“Mom, where are my soccer cleats?” Marlow yells from her room.
“I think I saw them by the dog’s bed in the family room.”
Marlow thuds down the hall then rounds the corner into the kitchen. “Can you untie my shorts?” she asks.
I put the lid back on the roast and close the oven door before I bend down and sigh in frustration. “Did you make this knot?”
“Yes,” she responds. “I didn’t want them to fall down when I was running, but now I have to pee and I can’t get them off.”
I attempt to dig my nail into the fabric, but there’s no nail there to use. My nail-biting habit is out of control again.
“Mom!” I hear Kale scream from upstairs.
“Kale, if you want to talk to me, come down the stairs and speak in a normal voice.”
“I don’t want to come downstairs. I just wanted you to know that Marlow left her stinky socks on the bathroom floor.”
I sigh at Marlow as she dances from place to place. “I really have to pee, Mom,” she whispers in fear.
“Why did you leave your socks on the bathroom floor?” I ask as I manage to make a small dent in the fabric.
“They were wet.”
“Why were they wet?”
“Roscoe peed in the hall and I stepped in it.”
I stop what I’m doing and stare at my six-year-old daughter.
“What?” she asks with her hands in the air.
The timer on the oven sounds, letting me know the roast is ready.
“Mom!” Kale hollers. “Roscoe peed in the hall again.”
“Then clean it up!” I shout back in irritation.
“Eww… no way!” he responds.
The timer continues to beep when the phone rings. I stand and pull Marlow toward it. I hit answer and place it on my shoulder before bending down to return to the knot from hell. She’d make a great sailor.
“Did you pay the credit card bill this month?”
“Well hi, Mike,” I respond. “I’m fine, how are you?”
“Shit, Everly, just answer the damn question.”
I sigh. “Yes, I paid it.”
“Are you sure? Because I still have a balance and I told you to pay it off.”
“Mom!” Kale yells from upstairs.
“I did pay it. I called it in a week ago.”
“Mom?” Kale shouts again.
Marlow continues to dance in front of me as I finally free her from her binds and she rushes toward the bathroom.
I stand and turn off the annoying timer.
“What’s the confirmation number?” Mike asks.
“I don’t know, Mike. I’m kinda busy right now.”
He chuckles into the phone. “You have no idea what it means to be busy. You should see my desk right now.”
I pierce my lip with my tooth and begin to form the f to my favorite word when Kale charges down the stairs. I stop myself on the consonant.
“Didn’t you hear me, Mom? I called you like a hundred times!”
“Must be nice to sit around all day while I work and claim you’re too busy to get a simple number for me.”
“Mom!” Marlow cries out. “There’s no toilet paper!”